Hilton Head for Christmas

I'm visiting my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins on Hilton Head Island in South Carolina with the rest of my immediate family. We've been here since last Friday and will stay till a few days after Christmas. We've been checking out motorcycles:





Going on walks with our cousin Max:


and enjoying happy Georges:



Hunter has been sabotaging perfectly good pictures intended for Brent:





We've been squeezing in for group pictures:



and enjoying pretty views:



And Georgie has had her fair share of attention from the great grandparents:

"Bachelorette Party"

So last night I spent the night with my maid of honor, Holly. We've had this sleepover on our calendars for weeks, maybe even months, because the morning we woke up she planned on taking me out for "one last hurrah" as girlfriends. Last night I met her at her work, a cute little coffee shop called Dr. Conkeys, just as she began closing up for the night. We made plans to buy Mamma Mia (the movie) and junk food on the way home and watch and sing the night away. It was a blast watching the movie with her, and when it was over, we decided we hadn't had enough. We turned on the sing-a-long version of the movie, flipped to our favorite songs, and sung and danced with all our energy in our pjs. It was glorious girly fun.

The next morning, on our way to our destination of the day, we again listened to the soundtrack of Mamma Mia and sang our hearts out together.

Ok, so let me just tell you, Holly knows how to throw a bachelorette party. She arranged, through her dad's friend who works on the set of The Office, to take me to a filming of the show!!! She made sure, too, that her dad's friend Phil knew that we're especial fans of the actor who plays Jim, John Krasinski. When we arrived on set Phil ushered us into what they call "The Green Room," a little room with ironically blue-painted walls with a comfy couch facing two tv screens on which you can watch what's happening live on set, and listen to everyone talk behind scenes.


In between takes we got to hear Jenna Fischer (Pam) tell everyone a story about Angela (Angela). Angela recently delivered a baby, and apparently has been losing a lot of sleep because she is very out of it, as evidenced by this story. Everyone on set were given bottles of water, and someone handed Angela a marker and told her to write her name on it. Instead of writing her name, Angela wrote on the bottle, "Water." Poor woman. :)

The first star sighting we had was Mindy Kaling (Kelly) who we saw as she walked past the doorway of The Green Room to her office. Next, Oscar, (Oscar) came into The Green Room. He recognized that we were unfamiliar so he reached out his hand and introduced himself. He continued a bit of small talk as he grabbed his jacket and then left the room.

Outside of The Green Room there is a little fridge and a table full of goodies for the people on set. Rainn Wilson (Dwight) went to the table, and as he was reaching for a drink, he met eyes with me. He immediately dropped what he was doing and came into The Green Room to introduce himself to Holly and me. He made a bit of fun at us that our names were so similar, and when we told him who our host for the day was (Phil), he said, "What an awful guy, Phil. Ha." as he walked out of the room. Holly and I looked at each other and squeal-giggled.

About ten minutes later, after Holly and I had had our fill of reading the hilarious script that was on the coffee table before us, Phil entered the room and said, "Holly and Hayley, may I introduce to you Mr. John Krasinski." John (Jim) entered the room close behind him and introduced himself with a handshake for each of us. Phil told John that I was engaged to be married, and John very cheerily congratulated me. I let him know that I was currently celebrating my bachelorette party with Holly, and he quickly responded, "Oh, great. If you're gonna have a bachelorette party, this is the place to do it, in The Green Room, which is actually blue." We laughed and eventually asked for a picture with him, something he very eagerly agreed to!


After Phil took our picture, he commented that Holly and I probably represent the general demographic of Johns fans. We shrugged our shoulders and said, "Probably." John was like, "Oh, too bad, I was kinda shooting for the 35-40 year old men." Holly said, "Well my dad's a fan of yours!" John: "There ya go!" Phil and John then said their goodbyes and hustled off to set. Holly and I stayed to watch one more take and then we left for our next destination.

I feel so blessed...Hoily, with her connections, has visited the set of The Office twice, and I have been privileged enough to join her both times!!

Holly next took me to a cute little tea room on Honolulu Street in Montrose, one of our favorite towns during Christmas time. The tea was so fun with her!



Before heading back home for the evening, we took a stroll down Honolulu Street and did a bit of shopping. Very cold and wet because of the rain, but fun. :)

VERY good day.

Our First Celebration of Christmas

I'm leaving town this Friday with the rest of my immediate family to spend ten days around Christmas with my grandparents , aunts, uncles and cousins on Hilton Head Island in South Carolina. I'm not returning until December 29th, five days before the wedding. :0!! The trip has been in the works for a year or two, and the plane tickets were purchased even before I was engaged, so as soon as I got the ring on my finger my family made sure that there was a ticket for Brent too. Sadly, when Brent started his new job in October, his boss let him know that he couldn't give him that time off for Hilton Head. Brent and I will therefore be separated for Christmas. :(

We celebrated Christmas together last night! We started out the evening opening presents at Chocolatine. As we were entering the shop at a quarter to six with bushels of presents in our arms, Hugo had to call out, "Um, we are closed. Sorry!" I asked, "Closed? Is there no time for hot chocolate or anything?" A light in Hugo's head turned on and he said, "Oh, just like ten minutes for hot chocolate? Of course. I thought you were expecting a bigger party with all of the gifts in your arms."

Brent and I quickly sat down for hot cocoa. He had me open a little gift first. A Starbucks Gold Member card. He knows me and loves me well, especially considering his disdain for coffee and his joking efforts to stop me from drinking it. :)

Hugo then served us our hot cocoa. "Looks like someone is celebrating Christmas!" Brent and I started gulping the drink down, knowing Hugo needed to pack up and go home as soon as we were done.

Next it was Brent's turn to open a gift. The first package I let him open held a brand new, unopened bag of sugar. Yes, sugar. He was just as confused as you are, but he thanked me sweetly. :)

My turn to open Brent's main gift to me. A new camera. A sweet camera. Complete with rechargeable battery, something gigabyte video memory card and nice leather case. I couldn't believe my eyes. I thanked him profusely, and was especially thankful when I thought of all the beautiful pictures on Kauai we can take (did I tell you that's where Brent's taking me for our honeymoon?).

The next gift Brent opened was coconut oil. He then realized what the sugar was for, and was able to guess what the last remaining two presents were. Our favorite homemade kettle corn calls for sugar, coconut oil, and, of course, popcorn kernals, and for best results must be popped in a Whirly Pop Popcorn Popper. Sure enough, his next gift to open was popcorn kernals and lastly, the main gift, a Whirly Pop Popcorn Popper.

After thanking each other and enjoying our hot cocoas to their last drops, we hustled out of Chocolatine and drove down the street to an outdoor skating rink for a round of ice skating. The scene was perfect. Christmas lights were everywhere, fun Christmas music was constantly playing, snowflake light shadows were cast onto the ice, and the rink was set right next to a pond glistening in the christmas light.

They gave us an hour session on the ice for the money we paid, and at first Brent and I didn't think we were going to want to stay on the ice that long. However, skating round and round while holding hands and having fun, deep or flirty conversations, doing our best at figure skating moves that seemed to always end with a kiss, racing each other around the rink, it was much less easy to get disinterested in what we were doing than we thought it would be. When we finally decided we had gotten our fill of skating, we sat down to take our skates off, and in a matter of minutes heard over the loud speaker, "Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes your session on the ice." One hour had flown by fast!

Both of us agreed it was a perfect evening with perfect company.

The Glory of God

Please bear with my ramblings.

I'm speeding through the last chapters of Matthew before the end of this year because Brent and I would like to start together studying Mark in the new year. Just today I was reading Matthew 20:1-16, the parable Jesus gives about the master who gave the same day's wage to those laborers he hired in the last hours of the work day as he gave to those he hired at the start of the day. The laborers who started in the early morning grumbled, saying, 'These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.' But the master replied, 'Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius [the currency of the day, I guess]? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?' Then Jesus makes the comparison to the kingdom of heaven: 'So the last will be first, and the first last.'

I read that and quickly prayed, 'Lord, let me never scorn the blessings You give to those who put their faith in You at the last second.' If I, someone who has known the Lord as long as I can remember, am going to enjoy the benefits of God's grace and mercy to the same capacity as the thief on the cross who put his faith in Christ only in the hours before he died, all glory be to God for His overflowing generosity and forgiveness! As MacArthur puts it in his study Bible, 'The thief on the cross will enjoy the full blessings of heaven alongside those who have labored their whole lives for Christ. Such is the grace of God.' Such IS the grace of God, and praise Him for it!

When I read MacArthur's statement, I was struck by how different my evaluation of my life is to the description of having labored my whole life for Christ. I look back on all the years I've been a believer, around twenty, and rather than seeing a tale of labors of love for Christ, I'm struck by the grace and mercy He continuously pours into my life, sometimes to the point where I feel it's too much and I'm ashamed to accept any more. I would LOVE to say that I've labored all my years for Christ, but I think a more accurate description would be that I've had too many failings and shortcomings to count, and the story of my life is one of a child who daily drinks in God's transforming grace, because without it I would be nothing. I must say, I consider myself more undeserving of heaven's eternal blessings than those who come to know the Lord in their last moments, because I've had all this time to live for Christ, and daily I feel that my deep and heavy debt to Him is growing exponentially. And it is, but the most rejuvenating and motivating fact is that the debt that is continuously expanding has ALREADY been covered, no matter how large it grows, by Christ's blood!

Meditating on these things makes me so excited for heaven...to SEE God, to know at the same time His infinite majesty, holiness and splendor, AND the magnitude of His grace, mercy and compassion. I'm so excited to know the reality of HIM, I'm so excited to experience reality to its fullest extent. Just now I'm sitting on my bed and looking around my room, realizing how easy it's been lately to get caught up in the 'reality' of the world. My bedroom is looking less and less like a bedroom and more and more like a bridal warehouse. Rolls of tool, dainty white napkins, cute silver kissy bells, flower girl basket, Martinelli's, champagne cups, bubbles that come in bottles that resemble champagne flutes, all cute and exciting and make me think of the wonderful DAY that's coming in three weeks and two days. But preparing a WEDDING makes it so easy to slip and forget that the world's realities of wedding days and favors and decorations are NOT anything close to lasting reality.

Preparing a MARRIAGE so far has been a ginormous reminder of heaven's true realities. I have to admit, I didn't know what I was getting into when I signed up for a relationship. It truly IS a sanctifying process. And at first, it isn't sanctifying in that it makes you a more holy person. At first, it makes you a real ugly person...at least, it reveals the ugliness already trapped inside of you. In the ten months I've been in a relationship with Brent, I've seen sides of myself and sin in myself that I didn't know existed, and as God, through the relationship, has been unpacking the box of my heart, I've been troubled by what's been stored there for so long. But thankfully the story never stops with the unpacking...You know, I've come to realize that the dealing with of the sin you recognize in yourself outside of a relationship is much easier to ignore than that of the sin you see in yourself in a relationship. In a relationship, sin has to be dealt with, gotten rid of, your heart has to be transformed if you're expecting to move forward in love with the person you're in the relationship with. Together Brent and I are finding that it's not just a little molding that needs to take place if we're expecting to marry each other, it's total transformation, change from the core. And though it's disgustingly hard in the moment, especially (for me, anyway) when it comes to giving up silly preferences that before the relationship I never knew I had such STRONG opinions about, when we see the results of the transformation God is bringing about in our hearts, I realize this relationship is one of the most fun, encouraging and heaven-preparing things I've ever gone through.

I pray God would ever increasingly be brought glory by me and my marriage to Brent.

Sentimental

The last time I packed up and moved, I was nine years old. So I really haven't had much reason to meticulously go through all of my things to pare down the things I own and decide what things are worth keeping. Now, as I'm slowly but surely getting my things packed up in preparation for moving in with a husband on January 3rd, some of the things that I come across that have built up in my closets and drawers bring distant memories and smiles. I cleaned out my jewelry box, making sure to keep only the things that I will still actually wear, and laughed out loud to find that I was still holding on to a dalmation puppy dog bracelet that I was given when I was ten or eleven. I found a scrapbook that I had started when I was only twelve or thirteen, and I was confused a little at a few of the trinkets that I had apparently regarded as "sentimental" such as candy wrappers that I glued to the pages of the book. It were those parts of the book that were super easy for me to give up, but when I got to the part of the scrap book that had all the fun letters from my best friend as a kid or all the cards and emails I received after my traumatic ski accident when I was eleven, I was so hesitant to throw those things out. And then I came to the part of the scrapbook where I kept all the stories that I had written before I was a teenager. I sat right down and read through one and remembered the pride I had taken in my written "works of art," the way I had believed with all my heart that my books would become famous novels and that Oprah or Rosie O'Donnell would ask me to be on their talk shows to talk about the novel I had published at such a young age. The stories now are completely laugh worthy to me...

But those of you who have had to go through old memories of yours to decide what to keep and what to throw, what are your guidelines? I'm realizing that if I tried to keep every card or souvenir I'm sentimental about, I'm going to have three or four boxes full of "memories" that I hardly ever dig into in my new one bedroom apartment that's already gonna be begging for free space. Thankfully my mom said she felt sentimental enough about the ski accident cards and my stories to keep them at her house, but still I have boxes of sentiments that are only going to keep growing, and I think I'm gonna need to let some of them go. If any of you have any advice or encouragement when it comes to the issue of saving or throwing, please comment!

Tidbits from Lately

Sorry there has been such a huge gap between posts...nothing more boring than a stagnant blog. Anyways, here is a little taste of what life has kinda sorta been like lately.

Kitty Bath
I gave my furry little guy a bath the other week. Such an event was such an uncommon occurance in the past, for as a pure-white, stray kitten who was abandoned by his biological mother, he didn't know how to keep himself tidy. Back in the day he hardly ever complained when it was bath time. Nowadays, now that he grooms himself in a decent fashion regularly, he regards bath time as the ultimate insult to his cleaning habits. But when I find black smudges on the pure-white start of his tail that his little prickly tongue just can't reach, I've gotta do what I've gotta do. The further he gets along in life the more comical the bath routine becomes, the most hilarious part being the episode directly after the bath where he gives himself a meticulous "proper" kitty bath to get every little piece of fur back to where it should be. I just thought you would all enjoy the pictures. :)

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Health
As far as my health goes, I'm still struggling with gastroparesis. I was on reglan, a drug that stimulated my stomach to move food so that I could eat normally, for a good month and a half, until my family and I realized that the side effects of the drugs were just too much to bear. There was no other choice but to go off the drug and maintain a pureed food/liquid diet. I've been on such a diet for about a month and a half as well, and my stomach seems to be reacting to it quite nicely, except for the fact that I struggle to eat enough to maintain my weight. My doctor isn't happy that I continue to lose weight on this diet, so he has recommended I start taking another, non-FDA approved drug that works quite like reglan but that has considerably less side effects than reglan and whose risks are a lot less scary than those of reglan. My family and I researched why the drug isn't FDA approved and God put us at rest that I would be safe taking the drug, so I ordered it from Canada last Thursday and am expecting it in a little over a week! I'm SO excited to be able to eat foods with varied textures again. :)

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Georgie

I never knew that I would enjoy her SO much. She's such a delight to be with and take care of. When I'm with her she's almost always jabbering away about something, her sweet little voice bringing non-legible syllables to my ears always makes me smile. Other day I had the privilege of taking the sweet girl off of Heather's hands for the second half of the day. I arrived at Georgie's house just in time to get her up from her nap.

I made and fed Georgie some lunch and then we got into the car to go meet Uncle Brent (almost) for dessert during his lunch break from work. I had spent so much time telling Georgie about the pumpkin pie we were going to share at the diner we were going to, only to arrive and find that it was all out of pumpkin pie! We decided to settle for chocolate cream pie, and as we waited for it to arrive Georgie amused herself by unpacking the little dish on the table that held the coffee creamers and then methodically packing it back up again.
The pumpkin stickers on the window next to our table soon caught Georgie's eye, and she spent a good few minutes pointing at them and telling Brent and me all about them.

The chocolate cream pie arrived and Georgie and I sampled it...unfortunately neither of us were all that jazzed about it...I think our tastebuds were really looking forward to the pumpkin pie. Oh well, Georgie and I had a good time being with Uncle Brent.

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My Love & Me

We went out on a good old-fashioned date, just him and me, on Halloween. Dates have become pretty few and far between since we've gotten engaged. We're with each other a LOT, but most of our time together is spent either planning/preparing for marriage and the wedding, meeting with the godly people in our lives to chat, or just relaxing with one of our families at one of our homes because of how exhausted we are. But on Halloween we decided we needed a little one-on-one date time. We made our way to Universal City Walk where we ate at Hard Rock Cafe. I had called the restaurant earlier in the day to see if they would be able to puree for me my favorite dish there, the Twisted Chicken Mac & Cheese. The manager had told me absolutely they could do that for me. However, it turned out that I was severely disappointed in the pureed version of the fantastic dish...I believe that in order for their machine to get the dish to puree more easily, they must have added a bunch more cheese sauce, because I felt like I was eating a bowl of cheese. :( Needless to say, I didn't finish it, and left Hard Rock ever more hopeful for the new drug to come. The untasty dinner did NOT ruin the night however. Brent and I determined to see a movie at the cinema at City Walk, so we decided on Eagle Eye which was playing on the IMAX screen. The movie was incredibly cheesy, much like my dinner, but Brent and I had fun laughing about it together and both of us admitted that though it was cheesy and unbelievable, it was also an enjoyable movie.

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I can't believe I chose to write about such extremely randomn things for this post...oh well, those things came to mind to write about.

My first bridal shower is coming up this Saturday. :) OOOOHHHHH, the excitement.

God Provides!

Excerpt from my prayer journal:
"August 12, 2008
God, please provide Brent with a well-paying, steady job before we get married."

That was three days after we got engaged, after Brent had been out of work for a little over two months. We've been praying the same prayer fervently ever since, and in the meantime God provided him with a temporary, well-paying project that lasted through September and another temporary, not-so-well paying position that would have lasted through mid-November, except that just TODAY he got a call from a great company in a great location (literally five minutes from where my sister lives) offering a full-time, well-paying job. Brent took the opportunity. Thank you, God, for so faithfully providing for us!

I am so thankful for this job for several reasons, one of them being that the location of this job means that we don't have to move away from our family, friends, church, and my school. Brent had been offered a pretty decent teaching job at the Art Institute of San Bernardino, and during the week that he had no other job offers than that God really had to work on my heart to get me used to the idea of leaving Grace Community Church, leaving my family, my friends, and transferring to another university after I've put so much hard work into CSUN. God used this past week to further solidify my faith and trust in Him and to show me how confidant I am in my love for Brent...as difficult as it sounded to leave just about everything I knew (even though everything I knew would still only be about an hour and a half away ;), I came to realize that I would gladly open my arms to moving away if it meant marriage to Brent and spending the rest of my life by his side. I love him and trust him so much, first and foremost because I love and trust the God who brought us together!

Yet again I am flabbergasted by the goodness and grace of God.

And...I just love Brent so much. Some of the words from one of my favorite love songs: "Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything, but everything means nothin', if I ain't got you!"

We went registering!

After a delightful breakfast of homemade omelettes and toast with the Tylers, Brent and I set out last Saturday to Bed Bath&Beyond and Target with the goal of completing the task of registering for the things we want and need. We started with Bed Bath&Beyond. It surprised us how much time and energy registering took. Halfway through the first store I was tempted to give up...not because they didn't have the things we wanted or needed or anything, it was just that thinking so hard about the things we would need, what type of things we would need, what color of things we would want, the pattern of things we would want, etc., all of that was exhausting! Brent encouraged me to push through the tiredness, and we left Bed Bath&Beyond confidant that we had done our best with that store and ready for more food. By that time it was almost four o'clock, so before moving on to Target we stopped at Claim Jumper for a refresher. It didn't take long to realize that we were both getting or were already slap-happy. Things were making us laugh and giggle that shouldn't have made us laugh and giggle. It was fun.:)

BTW, has anyone ever tried Claim Jumper's soft pretzel with nacho cheese sauce? OH, so good.

On our way to Target we made a stop at David's Bridal to pick up the bridesmaid dresses that were declared to me "available for pick up." Seeing them in person made me so super excited...made everything feel that much more real (haha, as if registering for the things Brent and I will one day share didn't make things feel real!).

Target was a lot easier than Bed Bath&Beyond, partly because the scanner thingie simply works way better at Target and partly because by the time we made it over there we were so tired that we didn't put much thinking into the things we scanned. We just pointed and shot. I came away very thrilled about the dishes, glasses and especially serving dishes and untensils we found, oh, and the frames too.

We spent Sunday resting from registering and everything else, but on Monday we got together and fixed our registries up online, deleting the things we got doubles of, finding items we liked even better than the ones we had originally chosen, adding things we had forgotten, and things like that. We ended up wondering why in the world we didn't just start online in the first place...it was SOOOOO much easier. We found the most adorable place mats and a table runner online, I think they would look so cute on the little white wood table Brent's parents are generously giving us!

Ever since then we've been updating it every once in a while, adding new things and such...I don't think the updating is going to come to a halt before the wedding. :)

Cutest Little Girl

Hunter and I were quite flabbergasted at how cute she looked last Sunday morning in her pink fur jacket.

Funny Conversation

Me, singing in the bathroom as I put my make-up on while Hunter waits to take a shower: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...please don't take my sunshine away."

Hunter: "No, your melody was wrong. It's 'Please don't take my sunshine away.'"

Me: "What did I do?"

Hunter: "You did, 'Please don't take my sunshine away.'"

Me, in a joking, slightly disgusted voice: "You think you're this music mugu because you're..."

Hunter, stopping me mid-sentence: "Yes. I am a music mugu."

Hunter, in a muppet-ie voice as he shakes his floppy wake-up hair into the mirror: "Hehehehehe!!!!"

Me: "I meant guru."

Hunter, in a joking, more disgusted voice: "No, of COURSE I'm not a guru.

Gastroparesis

So back to my health.

In early May, I started to notice a decrease in my appetite. Nothing major, I just noticed that I was starting to get satisfied with increasingly smaller portions, and those portions would keep me un-hungry for a longer time period than normal.

After I got out of the hospital for the first time this summer, I had almost zero appetite due to almost constant nausea, but as I recovered from surgery, my appetite came back...a little. After I got out of the hospital for the second time this summer (after having been diagnosed as being "hyper-sensitive to the normal contractions of my gallbladder" and put on muscle relaxants as a result), my appetite pretty much went to zero. I would wake up in the morning, know I NEEDED a good breakfast, but everything food-related made me almost want to gag. I would force some breakfast down, and usually couldn't stand the thought of food again till nighttime, at which point I would eat a few bites of...something that didn't make me feel gross.

After a few weeks of life like that and realizing with each follow-up doctors' appointments that I was rapidly loosing weight (I've lost 20 lbs since January), I decided to call my GI to see if perhaps my lack of appetite could be as a result of the medications I was on. He said it was highly unlikely, that the lack of appetite was probably again due to stress, but just to cover all bases, he would order a Gastric-Emptying Study. As many of you know, my organs have been tested inside and out this summer and all tests have come back negative, indicating I'm a normal, healthy girl who's just too over-stressed. So I went to the hospital a little begrudgingly for yet another test that was just going to come out negative...or so I thought.

When I saw the doctor for the results a few days later I found that the test came back positive!! The test revealed that my stomach moves abnormally slowly, hence the lack of appetite. My doctor and I were concerned about the gastroparesis (what my condition is called), but at the same time we were rejoicing that a test FINALLY revealed something about why I feel the way I feel. He said the gastroparesis may even explain away the "gallbladder" pain I've been complaining of. I saw the doctor that day at noon, having eaten a very small breakfast at 8 that morning and had nothing to eat or drink in between that time...he listened to my stomach and rapped on it and said, "Yes, your stomach is very full." Weird, huh?

So he prescribed me a drug that I take before every meal that stimulates my stomach muscles to get working again...after the very first try of the drug the medicine worked....I was hungry again! And the medication has continued to work since!

A few prayer requests: I'm on several medications right now, reglan (for the stomach) and librax (muscle relaxants), among other things the doctors have prescribed. The side effects of the mixture of all these drugs are kind of discouraging, especially as I'm starting school and planning a wedding. I get EXTREMELY drowsy and when that happens, I feel like I can't handle all that I've got on my plate, because I am not alert enough to do anything unless I go take a 1-2 hour nap. Thankfully, today is the first day that I have not felt that incredible drowsiness come on, but I'm thinking that doesn't necessarily indicate that it won't happen again. My doctors think that the drowsiness has mostly to do with the librax, so please pray that when I see my GI again in a few weeks he can start weaning me off the muscle relaxants. Also, for now the reglan is going to be long term, possibly a permanent thing. I don't want to be on it for the rest of my life, it has scary and dangerous side effects, so please pray that there will be revealed to the doctors another alternative or that God will heal my stomach.

Thank you so much for your prayers!!

The Verdict

Well, two of you have recommended clenching the ring between my lips/teeth while applying hand lotion, and given the fact that another friend of mine recommended that technique to me over facebook also, AND that was my own made-up technique, that will be my method from now on. Thank you for your insight, ladies!

Ladies, help please....

...hand lotion application. How do you do it with a diamond ring on without taking the ring off?

I've been in the habit of momentarily taking the ring off, putting it in a secure position within eyesight, applying my lotion, then putting the ring back on. That's probably NEVER going to happen again after I tried that routine at my home the other day, forgot to put my ring back on and went to school without any evidence of being a fiancee! Brent was "so scared" that some suave guy was going to hit on me, thinking I wasn't taken. :) Fortunately, didn't happen.

So, what do you do? Goop the ring up with lotion? And wipe it off later? HELP!

MEMORY OF GOD'S ABILITY & PROTECTION IN THE PAST IS FUEL FOR OUR TRUST & FAITH IN HIM IN THE PRESENT

**SO much interesting and revealing stuff going on with me health-wise lately, but I'll reveal that to you when I have more time...probably Friday. For now, I want to share what's on my heart.

So last night, after a long day of school and errands and important phone calls and making of appointments, my mom and I sat down at about 8 pm to look at my family's budget for the wedding and how much everything we will need for my wedding will cost. Considering how tired I was and what time of night we decided to do that, probably not a good idea in the first place. Anyways, I came away from that meeting with SUCH a (sinfully) heavy heart, because we had seen that the location Brent and I have been sold on (in our hearts and minds) for a while now is probably out of our price league. Unless God blesses us dramatically, we are probably going to have to get married at a location that wasn't even in our top three or five first choices.

Thankfully, as I got ready for bed and my family noticed my state of heart (and my fiance noticed my state of heart as I discussed the situation with him over the phone), I was given little encouragements here and there to set my heart straight. I remember my dad saying, "Where's your trust in God? Where's my prayer warrior that I've prayed with for these past six years for the funding for our summer missions trips that always come to pass?"

I knew my heart was wrong about the situation and I was praying for it to change, until God reminded me of a sermon Rick Holland recently preached in "big church" at Grace Community. He preached on the story of David and Goliath, and throughout the sermon revealed to us how the writer was trying to show off the glory of God, not the amazingness of David himself. Anyhow, I took my encouragement from this passage that Rick exposited to us, 1 Samuel 17:28-37. I won't repeat it ALL for you here right now (but I do highly recommend getting the cd if you didn't hear it), but basically little tiny (compared to Goliath) guy (David) was trying to convince the king of Israel that HE could defeat the 9ft, 9 inches, tall Philistine Goliath. Why was David so convinced that HE could defeat the Philistine? He says to the king, "Your servant used to keep sheep for his father. And when there came a lion or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock, I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth. And if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and struck him and killed him. Your servant has struck down both lions and bears, and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them," -- here Rick interjected this thought: David knows he has no chance with Saul the King even with the two stories he gave him. So David reminded Saul of Who was with him to protect him in those situations, so David goes on, "'for he (Goliath) has defied the armies of the living God.' And David said, 'The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.' And Saul said to David, 'Go, and the LORD be with you!'" Rick's main point after this part of the passage was this: MEMORY OF GOD'S ABILITY & FAITHFULNESS IN THE PAST IS FUEL FOR OUR TRUST & FAITH IN HIM IN THE PRESENT.

When I remembered that sermon and the truth of that passage, I felt so much better. Of course God has been faithful to meet ALL of my needs in the past, and He's even blessed my undeserving self with granting me my dreams (like the wedding dress) for a price I could afford, so why am I not trusting Him for the rest of my wedding? Not that I'm putting all faith in Him that His will is for me to get married at the place of my dreams, but according to Psalm 37:4, He will give me the desires of my heart if I align myself with His will. I went to bed slightly more encouraged and prayed to God that I was submitting my wedding to Him, and asked that I would grow to love and desire the location HE has in mind for us.

I woke up this morning actually liking the idea of one of the last cheap locations suggested to me last night, so praise the Lord for my change of heart. I'm excited to look into this little location today or tomorrow. :)

And in the end, what in the world am I worried about? It's just a wedding. It's the marriage and ALL that comes with it that I'm lookin' forward too. :)

Teaser for Brent: The Dresses I DIDN'T Choose

So much to praise the Lord for! For the past couple of days I've been searching online and preparing my wish lists to take to bridal stores. The first bridal store that my sister, Georgie, mom and I went to today had FABULOUS sales. It also happened to have the dress of my dreams, a dress that was originally $900 but was on clearance AND on sale to the point where I paid for it with my own money, without even eating into the savings my parents have for my wedding! AND, the dress wasn't even available for order, so they gave me the one they had in the store, so I took it home with me today. Also, the dress fits almost perfectly, just a little too big in some areas, but my mom happens to be quite the top-of-the-line seamstress and can do my alterations for free! Woohoo! Big big check mark on the check list taken care of!

Hehehe Brent...sorry you can't see the dress I chose yet. ;)

Currently reading: Love That Lasts (along with many other magazines)

Sunday my family came back from a wonderfully refreshing and relaxing four days in the Sequoias. Well, for some of us it was refreshing and relaxing...on the way up the windy roads my family and I discovered that dramamine and the dosage of muscle relaxers that I'm taking don't mix well (for the rest of the day I looked and felt drugged up, I was struggling to wake up and keep my eyes open, I felt as if I had just been sedated or something...weird feeling to have in my most favorite vacation spot on Earth), Heather was fatigued and on the verge of getting a cold, Hunter and my Dad were getting over their wicked colds, Brent had a wicked cold, my sister-in-law drove up the windy roads to the Sequoias with a headache AND nausea....but for the rest of the weekend I was fine, other than one gallbladder attack that was instantly demolished by this awesome pain medication that my doctor prescribed me.

So getting down to the business of why I titled the post the way I did. The reason I look back on that weekend as so wonderfully refreshing and relaxing was because of the precious time I got to spend with God, Brent, and a fabulous marriage book called Love That Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace. We got a little over half-way through the book together, and have been so blessed by the wisdom from the authors, a couple from Covenant Life Church in Maryland. We have to admit, the book is geared more for couples who have been married for several years and need a marriage refresher, but the authors also say that engaged couples will benefit from the book to, and boy do I agree with them! Ever since my relationship with Brent started, I realized it was actually time to really start digging into the wisdom God has given us in His Word about godly marriage relationships. For these past six months I've learned a ton about godly relationships and marriage, but I've been frustratingly confused because I KNOW that the gospel, the good news of Jesus' sacrifice for us on our behalf, relates into every aspect of life. I don't know if it's just me, (it probably is just me), but even with all the Scripture relating to marriage I was having a difficult time seeing how the gospel flows into marriage. I strongly recommend Love That Lasts because for the first time in life I'm learning from their exposition of Scripture how and why marriage is all about God and the gospel, how I can daily be reminded in my marriage of the gospel, and how the power of the gospel is going to be working in our marriage to make it the example of Christ's relationship with the Church that He wants it to be. And the book is FULL of reminders of GRACE. Grace grace grace grace grace. I think that might be my favorite word...considered in the theological context. The authors are down to earth and admit their own continuing struggles in their responses to each other and in following God's design for marriage, but they continuously remind their readers and themselves that God's grace and forgiveness, because of the Cross, covers their mistakes and allows them to start each day, each minute with a fresh start.

Let me end with what may be my new favorite Bible passage:
"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Surprise after surprise...and *BLING*

So last Saturday, August 9th, 2008, Brent was a groomsman in a wedding of some of our mutual friends. Our friends, Wyn & Chelsea, got married up in Napa Valley. I was looking forward to the weekend up in Napa for several reasons. First of all, excited for the wedding. Second, excited to spend the whole weekend with my boyfriend and his family. And lastly, thrilled that I would be in beautiful Napa Valley on my birthday, the 9th of August.

A couple of days before we left for Napa, Brent called me all excited about this plan he had for celebrating my birthday ON my birthday before he had to get to his responsibilities as a groomsman. He said we should wake up at 4:30 am and drive to this beautiful spot to view the sunrise. In my head I was going, "Wow, that sounds AWESOME, I like waking up super ridiculously early if it's for a destination like that...but that doesn't sound like Brent. He would never want to wake up that early, even in celebration of my birthday, unless....could he be proposing that morning??" I didn't say any of that to him, I just told him how excited I was about that idea of a birthday celebration. Several more conversations with him throughout the day drew me away from the thought that he was going to propose on my birthday, and my sister, who I was living with at the time, was totally clueless as to whether or not he was going to propose. For the next day or two I had to keep reminding myself that IF Brent was going to propose to me, Heather would totally know about it and be in on it, and because she was so totally clueless about it, I needed to not let my hopes get up that I was going to return from Napa Valley as a fiancee.

The morning before I left for Napa I plopped down on Heather's couch and began giving myself a mega-pedicure, as I wanted to look really pretty especially for Brent at the wedding. Heather casually offered to french tip my fingernails, saying that she's usually pretty good at it and people usually compliment her on her self-done nails. I casually said yes, why not? As I gave her my hand I suddenly sat bolt upright, looked her in the eye, and said, "Heather, you're giving me a manicure." She looked at me with a blank expression and said, "Yeah?" I asked, "Am I going to be showing off my hand to people for any reason this weekend?" Heather continued her blank expression for a few seconds until it looked like a light bulb went off in her head. Then she smiled really big and said, "OHH!!! Do you think he would propose?!" Her reaction made me even more certain that Brent wasn't going to be proposing on my birthday...once again, Heather remained totally clueless. I went ahead with the manicure anyway.

Friday, during the wedding rehearsal, I got a call from my parents who hadn't seen me in about a week for several different reasons and just wanted to catch up with me. I had a chance to speak to only my mom, who asked if Brent was going to do anything special for my birthday the next day. I told her about him wanting to wake up early for the sunrise, and immediately she was like, "*GASP* Hayley....do you..you think he might be proposing to you? That's a really romantic sounding morning!" I sighed and said, "Well, mom, no, your reaction pretty much sealed it. He's not proposing, you would have known about it and you would NOT have said that if you had known about it." We exchanged a few more words and I got off the phone, trying to remain excited about waking up ridiculously early in the morning JUST for a sunrise on my birthday. :)

The next morning Brent was outside my hotel room door promptly at 5 am, and we rushed off to our destination. It didn't take long for me to realize that he was in a rush, that we were late for something, and that we needed to make it somewhere in time to meet some people for something. This was obviously more than just a sunrise. I guessed that we had to meet at a certain place to get on a bus for some sort of a tour...perhaps we were going to a waterfall or a geyser that I thought I remembered existing up in Napa? Brent kept his lips sealed as much as possible when it came to what we were doing, and I remained pretty much clueless, though I was pretty sure that whatever it was that were we doing was more than just a simple sunrise.

Eventually he told me to close my eyes as we pulled into a parking lot, he assisted me in getting out of the car and he walked me, with my eyes still closed, to a spot where he decided I could open my eyes. I opened my eyes to a sign announcing the starting point of a hot air ballooning adventure. I squealed and jumped up and down and hugged him...ever since riding Soarin' Over California at Disneyland Resort I've told Brent how much I REALLY REALLY wanted to go hot air ballooning in Napa Valley. Suddenly I was naturally super excited for this early morning adventure, even if it didn't end with an engagement...though I have to admit that I was still in my heart of hearts hoping that I would be proposed to before the morning was over.

There were about fifty other people there that morning who were also ready for a hot air balloon adventure. We all had to pile in vans and take a half hour drive to the launch site. When we got in the van we were soooooo jazzed about what we were about to do.

Observing the hot air balloons being blown up was so intriguing.

Brent and I were placed in a group that would take a certain balloon's second ride of the morning. That meant that we had to watch a first group enter into our balloon, watch it lift off and then drift away.

Our group was ordered back into the van and our driver took off, all the while keeping in touch with the guide ON the hot air balloon, they were communicating with each other about where the balloon was going to touch down and where our van should meet it so that our group could enter the balloon. It was so cool getting out of the van in this random field where the balloon touched down and slowly approaching it, hiking over yards and yards of alfalfa.

Getting into the balloon is kind of an adventure in itself. The basket doesn't have any doors or anything, you simply have to climb over the side of the basket.

Lift off was amazing. We heard the ginormous blowtorch give a few quick blasts and then we slowly, centimeter by centimeter, then inch by inch, then foot by foot and yard by yard peacefully drifted off of the ground.

At one point our guide took us over a sunflower field. We were literally drifting only about two feet above the tops of the cheery flowers. SO so peaceful.

Brent took this moment to give me my birthday gift. He began with the card. A cute, slightly romantic, very birthday-ish little card. Another factor that told me he wasn't going to be proposing. Then he pulled out his birthday gift from his pocket. It was an old-fashioned writing set that I had been eying at Medieval Times a few weeks earlier, included a quill pen, ink, two seals, and gold and red wax for sealing. I thanked him very much, was very grateful for the gift and was excited to use it, though Brent admitted to me later that he could tell I was disappointed by the gift...after all, I kinda sorta wanted a ring. :)

After the little birthday celebration I crossed my arms and hung my elbows out the side of the basket, enjoying the remainder of the peaceful hot air balloon ride. Brent was hugging me from behind until I suddenly felt him fumbling around in his pocket. I thought to myself, "No way...NO WAY!!" He again wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "Hayley, I love you so much." I responded, "I love you so much." He whispered again, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I shakily responded, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you!!" He then opened up a little box in front of me and asked, "Will you marry me?"

I started laughing and crying at the same time. It took me a few seconds, but I finally stuttered out the happy words, "Of course!! Of course!" We hugged and laughed and I continued crying, until our guide shouted from the other side of the basket, "Everybody ok over there?" I looked at him with tears streaming down my face and said, "Oh yes...we just got engaged!!" The four other couples in the basked giggled and congratulated us. Brent and I finally realized that the ring wasn't yet on my finger, so I asked if I could try it on and he slipped it on the finger. Slightly to big for me at the moment, but I'm a little under weight right now because of the illness so I think I'll grow into it. The ring is beautiful and perfect, just my style.

The couple next to us offered to take our picture, you can still see a few tears in my eyes.

The balloon adventure lasted probably about a half an hour more, but it went by in a flash for me and Brent because of our excitement over being engaged. When it finally came to touch down, our guide warned us that we were coming in very very fast and steep, and we really need to follow his directions in bending our knees and leaning against one side of the basket. As we approached the ground and saw the dry bushes speeding past us, we realized just how fast we were traveling. My heart started racing...it didn't seem safe. Suddenly dry bushes were whacking our faces, and we felt one side of the basket start to skid and jump and bump on the ground as our guide tried to reign it to a halt. Finally we were stationary, but the whole basket was tilted so that only one side was touching the ground, and the whole basket was about to topple over onto its side. All of the riders' instincts were to lean to the other side to even things out, but our guide ordered us to lean into it and let the basket topple over. The basket dropped onto its side and suddenly everyone in the basket was lying horizontally, human atop human. When we were finally settled on the ground and the crash landing was over, the whole party burst into laughter, cheers and applause...hot air balloon crash landings are AWESOME!!

When Brent and I clamored out of the basket, we asked someone to take our picture once again so that Rick Holland, our college pastor, could be pleased that yes, Brent did end up taking the knee.

Brent told me that our next destination was this really cool castle that we had visited the last time we were in Napa, during the time we were visiting Chelsea's family. He said that our good friends Anton and Marietjie, who were in Napa for the wedding anyways, were going to be there to take some initial engagement photos of us. His plans were SO perfect. I was so happy that I was going to be able to celebrate the recent engagement at such a pretty place with such good good friends.

As we pulled up into the castle driveway, I saw Marietjie talking to Heather. "Wait a minute, Heather?!" I thought to myself. I screamed and tried to scramble out of the car while it was still moving (or so everyone tells me), and when I finally got out laughed and laughed as I hugged her and told her how HAPPY I was that she was there to be with me at such a special time!!! She apparently woke up at 3:30 am that morning to make it up to the castle on time to meet me there...SUCH a pleasant surprise, such a loveable sister, such a LOVING sister!!! She had me re-enact the face that I made when I first saw her.

I hugged Anton and Marietjie and laughed and squealed with everyone, and then for the next half hour or so Anton and Marietjie ordered Brent and me around, telling us what positions to take and how to pose for some engagement photos.

The rest of Brent's family soon met us at the castle also to celebrate. Anton and Marietjie soon had to leave because of other responsibilities before Wyn & Chelsea's wedding that day, and Brent got the rest of the group reserved for a tour of the castle before he had to take off for his own responsibilities as a groomsman. It was hard saying goodbye to my fiance so soon after our engagement, but I knew we would see each other soon. I must say though, I think I would have enjoyed the tour of the castle and taken it all in a whole lot more if I hadn't gotten engaged that day, or at least if my fiance had been with me. Instead, throughout the tour, I was mostly going like this:


At the site of the wedding, I was wrapping my wedding gift outside of my car when I heard my name called from a distance. I looked to see where the voices were coming from, and saw some of my bestest girlie friends from my Bible study: Amanda, Emily, and Michelle. I slammed my car door shut and galloped toward them, asking if they had heard the news. All of them said "No!" with confused faces, until I got close enough to hold out my hand to show them the ring. Let me just tell you, four girlie girls excited over something like that creates shrieks and squeals that you can hear for miles and miles. :)

The rest of the evening was so fun, the wedding was beautiful, I was able to flirt with my fiance from the audience the entire time :), and the reception felt like just as much an engagement party as it was a reception. Brent and I were being congratulated right and left, from people we didn't even know, girls were wanting to examine my ring, and even the father of the bride, at the end of his toast to his daughter and new son-in-law, gave a toast to Brent & Hayley, the newly engaged couple.

The next day Brent and I and Heather spent with the Tylers in Sausalito, relaxing and celebrating my birthday/engagement. They treated me to an awesome dinner at The Spinnacker, whose tirimisu, I have to admit, is better than my recipe. :( Oh well...I got grand ideas from trying the restaurant's tirimisu, and will have to tweek my recipe as a result.

Before I end the post I must give a shout out to those who kept the secrets so well...ESPECIALLY Brent, Heather (a natural actress...she knew about the plans the whole week leading up to the engagement), Marietjie, my mom, my dad, Anton, Rita Tyler, Ashley,.....so many others, but especially those mentioned. It made for an extremely pleasant surprise.

And now Brent and I are still floating in a hot air balloon...or at least that's how we feel. And we're counting down the days until January 3rd, 2009.